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Can you believe that im actually writing twice a day??? hehehe.
remember about me told ya how i couldn’t sleep coz of diet pills on my previous writing? hehe. i thought i was starting to get drowsy at 1.30 am. My two brothers are off to bed. When i was about to sleep, Jodi woke up. He was as fresh as a new picked carrot (geez…!! :-p). As he woke up, he was looking at me and say “you’re not gonna sleep, are you? the match is about to start
Sooooooo…. i failed to sleep. I wasn’t really sorry that i didn’t sleep actually. Xabi looked so hawt on the match last night. And so did David Silva… and David Villa. Torres was not bad too… hahahaha. Spanish hotties never fail to wake me up!
At sum mins during the match, it felt like i couldn’t take it any longer. I almost gave up but i had no heart to let Jodi stayed awake alone. The match ended at 4 am. Jodi fell asleep 2 mins after the match end. You won’t find out how i really wanted to sleep like Jodi. but i didn’t wanna skip my morning prayer…
I finally able to sleep at 4.45 am. Fiuhhhh…. legaaaaaaa banget! Woke up at 7 am… super dizzy for sure. Much better once i took a panadol. God bless the inventor of panadol!
Dunno it is because of my dizziness or what… i felt so mellow this morning. or is it hormones?? geez, not easy being a lady!!!
xx
It’s 12:20 am… it’s Monday already although i feel like it’s still Sunday in my room 
Anyway, the title of this ‘writing piece’ is a bit trashy. Hehe. Sorry… but that’s what this writing is about. And guess what? Each word of the title is connected to each other.
As you know, I’ve been thinking about my Caspian… a lot. Biasanya kalau begitu, berarti aku stress. When im stressed out, aku makan banyak. Kalau sudah makan banyak, aku jadi panik dan minum diet pills yang kata dokter “cukup aman” untuk aku. Stupidly, i took those pills @ 10 pm… segar bugar lah aku sampai detik ini.
Eventually, at the very same time, two younger brothers of mine juga lagi insomnia berat. We’re watching TV, and as you may prolly guess, we were watching Miami Ink. It’s been kinda silly that Egi was inspired to get a tattoo on his arm. I dunno how to draw at all, but I finally was forced to be a ‘tattoo artist’. I did some drawing on his arm, with a marker. If only you guys could see how Egi thanked me for the tattoo and said that the tattoo would be the best one he ever had!!! hahaha
Jodi knew how pathetic im in drawing, so he decided that he’ll be his own tattoo artist. he drew something on his foot. I really dunno how our mother would react when she sees Egi’s arm and Jodi’s foot. im just gonna make sure that i wont be around when that happens 
Done with the tattoo… i still cannot sleep, and so my brothers. we decided to watch the Euro Cup 2008 Final. It’ll start at 1 am here in Indonesia. But it seems like im gonna watch it alone. My two brothers are already knocked down.
Honestly, i dunno if im gonna watch it too i start to get drowsy now. I think it’ll be great if i join my brothers in bed… and wake up a bit early tomorrow to watch morning news to find out who’s the winner of Euro Cup 2008 ;-P
a bit meaningless my post today… hehe.
ciao
xx
I used to play tennis when i was in elementary school. I quit when i was about to enter my junior high. And since then… I didn’t even remember where i put my tennis rackets :-)
Some days a go, when my mother asked one of her employee to clean up the warehouse at her office… there was a big Nike bag, so full of dusts, and awesumly heavy. 4 tennis rackets were on it. hehe… as you may guess, those are mine. They’re still in a good shape because eventually I was kinda like having a vision that i was gonna forget them for such a long period. I wrapped them in plastic bags before i put them in the bag
It’s been kinda long time since i played tennis… 9 years probably and stupidly, after those long 9 years, i decided to start it again. i went to the tennis court with my brother this evening. Strain all over my body, mate!!!!!
Well… I used to play tennis on my nintendo wii… hehe. and i watch all the tennis tournaments where Rafa and Novak are playing. Those all are sooooooo different.
Now im still suffering from the ‘tennis pain’, as my brother calls it ;-p. I only played for about 45 mins! 30 mins for catching the balls only… I totally forget how to do a good forehand, and my shoulder was in great pain when i served. Blimey!! if only i knew it is going to be this hard after 9 years not playing tennis (at all!!!), maybe I wouldn’t stop.
Gosh…. if only i can hire Sr. Nadal as my tennis instructor… hehe. Maybe the strain wouldn’t be as hurt as now after I see his muscled figure :-p
xx
There’s something wrong dengan priaku… last weekend dia gak balapan karena ada satu orang pembalap asal Brazil yang lebih muda dari aku menggantikan posisi dia (F$%K!!! for him being younger than moi!)
Release yang dikeluarkan dari team hanya menyebutkan bahwa pembalap itu akan mengendarai mobil yang biasanya dipakai sama Caspian ku… aku cukup sedih untuk dia. Walaupun aku gak tahu apa alasan sebetulnya dibalik semua itu. Apa dia sedih juga???
Kekhawatiran aku sudah terjawab. Ternyata aku gak sekedar ’sok sensitive’. I really felt apa yang mungkin dia rasakan saat itu. Semua kekhawatiran dan keresahan hati dia.
So… dengan ini, apakah berarti dia soulmate ku?? hahaha. Soalnya kata Mummy ku tercinta, hanya seorang soulmate yang bisa merasakan apa yang dirasakan partnernya. Though he’s not… yet
xx
Both are talented, bloody gifted with all those great muscles, super hawt, and speaking English in a very very sexy accent J it all makes everything just more tres difficult. Although I always think that Rafa is a bit hotter than Djokovic J
It’s kinda bitter and sweet when those two players must play against each other on the court. I love them both and I hardly can choose. The best option is… I cheer for Rafa when he scores, and I do the same for Mr. Djokovic when he got points. Hehe. It doesn’t really matter who wins, coz whoever wins the match im just so happy for one of them.
Speaking about talent, those two young men are truly exceptional. Rafa is only 22 and Djokovic is reaching the same age as mine this year, they’ve reached so much in young age. They’ve won some grand slams .Rafa is now number 2 on ATP, meanwhile Novak is number 3. Both Rafa and Djokovic will reach number one when Roger Federrer commits suicide or missing in Atlantic Ocean so he would stop playing tennis for good.
Sometimes when I see them, I think a lot. I mean, I always wonder what kind of life they’ve got. I always wonder if they ever feel homesick for being so far away from home for such a long period of times, and if the money they earn from every tournaments will cope all the loneliness from being apart from the beloved one.
Unlike race drivers, tennis players are much busier. They’re going from one tournament to another within days. Like Rafa and Djokovic, 3 days after they done with Rolland Garos they flew to England for The Queens. And in less then a week after Artois, they’ll play in Wimbledon. After Wimbledon, there’ll be another tournament waiting. Being strong both mentally and physically are essential in this matter.
Though, I still consider race driver as the coolest and greatest job ever on earth!!! Hehe. They’re working soooo hard too.
Anyway, to be tres honest… hehe… I always choose Rafa over Djokovic first J hehe. So if you ask me the question of “Nadal or Djokovic?”, and I answer I don’t care… that means I lie J Deep in my heart, my answer would be “Of course Rafa, you moron!”. Hehe. Although in the end… I will be beyond happy too if Djokovic wins the match J
I have mentioned that Rafa is a bit sexier than Djokovic, rite? Hehehe. He’s a Spanish, for heaven sake!
xx
Here’s the deal… some people consider me makes the word of love sounds so cheap. Why? Simply because I say that L word to pretty much everyone around me. Now im asking back, is it wrong to tell people how I feel bout them?
im telling you something. I almost become like a man when it goes to love. I really mean what I say and that’s a big deal for me (yep, darling! believe it or not but men take love seriously!). When I say I love you to someone, it means that I really love that someone. That’s someone has been so special to me and I really appreciate his/her presence in my life. And that’d be a forever commitment.
I never want to make that I love you thing becomes only a phrase that sweeten the relationship. It comes from my heart… and I won’t say that if I feel it wrong to say that. I want that word comes from me genuinely, so the person im talking to knows exactly that I really mean what I say.
I say I love you to my parents, my siblings, my best friends, my friends, my doctors, and even to my maids. That’s because I really love them. I want them to know how much im grateful for having them as part of my life. The present me is what they have made me into…
I’ve got some troubles with this I love you thing too anyway. Once my friend’s girlfriend was really mad at me because I texted her boyfriend and it was ended with a sweet “I love you” at the end of the text it took sometimes to explain the whole things to her.
Another trouble was some people (well… GUYS) interpret my I love you thing differently sometimes. They thought that because I said I love you to them then I was into them. Too bad, it doesn’t go that way. Love is way too general for me that it’s not always in romantic context.
I still say I love you to my ex… and I do still love him, as a friend ^_^
However, there’s someone ill never be able to say I love you to, well at least at the present time. God knows how much I really want to say it to that person… but it is harder than I thought he’s way too special that I think I need to figure out the most special way to tell him how much he means to me. Soon I wish…
You know what? Letting everyone you love that you love them is a good therapy for you. It makes you happy… lots happier. And the most important is it makes the people you send your love to are happy too. For me, nothing more precious than seeing the smiles on the persons I love because they know how much I love them
xx
tapi aku kok ada feeling there’s something happen to him. Kayaknya dia lagi ada permasalahan atau apa. Perasaanku gak enak aja… tiba-tiba worry yang berlebihan tentang pria ku itu.
lihat ke website nya dia, sepertinya sih gak ada problem. tapi waktu lihat ke website team nya… aku rasa sepertinya ada masalah. Dunno, apa aku yang sok peka atau memang aku peka. Dari kemarin aku tiba-tiba lagi mau doakan pria ku itu supaya diberi kesabaran dan ketabahan sama Tuhan (biasanya sih berdoanya supaya dia dijauhkan dari wanita-wanita di lingkungan kerja dia. hehe…)
One thing for sure… aku lagi kangen sama dia. Sampai kemarin aku iseng gak ada kerjaan, aku naik motor ke sirkuit sendirian. Sore-sore… dengan excuse mau jogging. Padahal sih disana, duduk… dan menangis! hahaha. PMS effect, tapi yang ini pasca nya
O ya… aku mau cerita. Gak pernah sekalipun aku ragu tentang perasaanku. Aku sayang banget sama dia dan aku percaya doaku. Sekarang aku tinggal usaha, dan tunggu kemana nasib akan membawaku. Am i being too naive?
Papa bilang, you can’t wait the chance knocks on your door. You must break the door to see the chances. Berarti it’s moi who should move first. Bagaimana caranya?
aku belum bosan. capek juga belum. ini bukan ‘quick love’… dan aku mau buktikan itu. adakah yang lebih hebat dibandingkan doa dan usaha yang sungguh-sungguh? kalau ada, let me know… let me try it…
xx
So many things in my head now. It feels like I wanna pour them all in a writing piece, but I can’t. Simply because it’s been too many… and I really dunno where to start.
Anyway, yesterday I did my newest weekly routine, which is going to the cinema alone and watch some movies till I got bored. Everyone consider it weird. And I wonder why. There’s nothing wrong with that, showing a bit of my loner side
Met a friend there and she looked so shocked when I told her that I was alone. She was like, “I thought you were with your man”. Bloody hell!!! How many times do I have to announce to the world that I’m bloody single??!!?? But well… just forget that part. Nature’s calling and that saved me from the awkward situation with my friend.
This routine started couple weeks ago when I really wanted to see a movie but I had no accompany to go with. So I went alone… and that was cool enough for me. As you may guess, it continued to another movie at the very next week. I collect all the movies tickets where im going there alone. That’d be a good reminder how lonely I’ve once been. Hehehe
Not only going to the cinema, now I really enjoy my self walking around a shopping mall or hanging out at starbucks with tons of caffeine for hours… amazingly alone. Something I will never do in the past, considering I couldn’t even go to the grocery store which is just 100 meters away from my house alone.
It’s not because im such an anti-social person who’s got no friends to go out with. I’ve got plenty of options. But I chose not to choose :-p Me kinda wants to avoid complexity now… by doing everything alone, it’s just gonna be me and my self. No other involved, which makes me such a self-centered person (again). Anyway, that’d be a great match for my new love he’s such a self-centered person as well, I heard :-p
However, I think I have one (sorta) big reason for being alone. I don’t wanna make any mistakes, as simple as that. Especially now. By being alone, all the mistakes can be lessen and it’s only gonna be me who will deal with the ‘mistakes effects’.
One thing I still cannot do alone until now. Go to the clubs… though im not so into it anymore. I don’t think ill ever go to the clubs again
However, a loner clubhopper would be a great story to make :-p
xx
