You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2008.
It’s about 8 hours before new year here…
laying on my bed, thinking of what I’ve done during the year. I can’t say that im satisfied with everything I’ve achieved this year… but 2008 hasn’t been so bad either.
January 2008 I was struggling with family matter. Tried my best to keep the family on its best shape. I realized there that no matter what, how, when, and where, family is the only place we can always run to.
February 2008 I was turning 21. Thought I have met another love of my life on my birthday. A bit disappointed that he was actually not that special. He remains a good friend…
March 2008 was when everything so blur to me. In process of doing my thesis, and everyone seemed to be goin on their own way. I was a total stranger at this month.
April 2008 I was still struggling with my thesis. Took medication to calm me a bit at this month. Not any longer on my own, and I know who my true friends are.
May 2008 wasn’t really special. I did my first thesis hearing. Everything ran well but my health was a bit dropping at this month. Back pain, endless cough. Spent couple of days at the hospital.
June 2008 was the first experience being a jobless. I found it fun… for the first 2 weeks. When I started to run out of the money, it’s not any longer fun 
July 2008 was special. I spent most of my times at home with my brothers and sister. They love me so much and I can’t be more thankful for that. It’s also when we prepared everything before my 12 years old brother move to his dormitory. He went to a boarding school this month.
August 2008 was when I did my final thesis hearing! I was almost crying when the professors told me that I passed the hearing and deserve the academic title behind my name. I’ll never forget that day. August the 5th…
September 2008 was my 2nd fasting month. Ramadhan and I always like the month of Ramadhan. Festive and love, all at once. So peaceful. And by the way, I really enjoyed the moment where I can eat my chocolate at 2 AM without being guilty Went to London on the 2nd week of Ramadhan.
October 2008 was Eid!!! Arriving at home few hours before Eid. Tired but extremely happy to see all the family. The best month ever! This month was the month where my doctors told me I was gonna do my next therapy in Switzerland.
November 2008 I landed in Zürich with fever and cold. Met a lot of new and fantastic friends. Fell in love with the city I used to dislike Thanks to the chocolate…
December 2008 has been a rollercoaster of life to me. Came back from Switzerland, and more than excited to attend my graduation. I’ve given the best gift I can ever give to my parents (so far). My BA (hons) title. The look in their faces when I took up the steps to get into the stages and receive my diploma were priceless. It made want to give them even more.
31st of December 4:06 pm –> a starving jobless who’s now in a ‘cold war’ with her parents. Feels like she’s now in the crossroads with no idea which way to choose. No NYE parties plan yet coz she knows she’ll probably spend the NYE alone in her room thinking of things she’d done wrong. She needs more guidance in her life, but she’s too shy to ask. The only thing she’s sure about is there’s always be hope while she breathes. However, she’ll get up within minutes from her messy bed to start things over… read for the new 2009 with a new spirit in life.
That’s moi…
Happy new year my friends… my love (whoever you are)… We shall not lookin back to the past, but take some lessons from it. Don’t live in the past coz it’s the future that we must live through.
Thank you for the sweet 2008 that we spent together. It’d be less exciting without you all. I’m wishing you all the best in 2009, may we’ll be the best we can be in the upcoming year.
I love you all…
xx moi
A survey/quiz posted by a friend on MySpace… hehehe. Back to the old days, when I was such a fool. Doesn’t mean that I’m not now 
In 2008 have you:
Broken a promise:
~couple of times
Made a new friend:
~many 
Fell in love:
~ah yeah.... february, moment of life
Fell out of love:
~so so
Done something you swore never to do:
~ yep
Lied:
~couple of times… self-defending purpose!
Went behind your parents back:
~ pretty much all the times not proud of it though!
Cried over a broken heart:
~after the 9th months, yeah….
Disappointed someone close:
~Yeah… and im really sorry bout that
Hidden a secret:
~ who doesn’t??
Pretended to be happy:
~yep… not easy, i gotta tell ya!
Got arrested:
~by some nurses for eating nutella at 1 am while i shouldn’t eat anything for the ultrasound examination the next day?? well… few times
Kissed in the rain:
~No!! It’ll make me sneeze. That ain’t sexy, dear!
Slept under the stars:
~ tried once. couldn’t stand the mosquitos!!
Gotten in a fight:
~ are you being serious asking me this question? My brothers are 12 years old and 6 years old!!! What you’d expect?!
Kept your new years resolution:
~not really…
Forgot your new years resolution:
~that’s what I was trying to say, my friend
Met someone who changed your life:
~oh yeah... completely and rapidly
Met one of your idols:
~Papa?? Almost everyday… when im not going anywhere and he’s home.
Changed your outlook on life:
~ a bit
Sat home all day doing nothing:
~what you think im doing these days??
Left the country:
~couple of times
Almost died:
~ Good question! *Yeah, im pointing at you now Doc Schwaller!!*
Drank yourself retarded:
~ Thank God no…
Lost someone close to you:
~ Lost? in term of death?? well, I guess yes. Lost my aunt this year, though i was just half-close to her.
Been to the hospital:
~ Hehe… 26 days being in a hospital in Zürich, couple of days in London, and a few more in Bogor. That’s what it takes for a much healthier 2009!!
Gotten closer to someone:
~ sorta.. and an unexpected one
Streaked?
~ nope
Cried over someone:
~ when im havin my PMS
Broken up with a gf or bf:
~ im a happy single this 2008!
Given up something important to you:
~ well, yeah. couple of things…
Talked on the phone all night:
~ yeah!!! I hate different time zone!!
Learned something new about yourself:
~ you may say so…
Tried something you normally wouldnt try and like it?
~ if driving while being overly dozed by cough syrup is considered as one, so yes!! I’ve tried it and lovin it lots!
Made a change in your life:
~ just a little part of moi
Found out who your true friends were:
~ sure. but sadly I have to let them all go pretty soon. I wanna quit being their burden
Made a total fool of yourself:
~ oh yeah… and im kinda doin it now!
xx
Why do I miss him? it’s 11 pm and I used to see him online at this hour! I just don’t understand why I feel sad when knowing he’s ‘not there’.
Ooowwh my gawd… I already plan an expensive trip on February so I won’t be meeting him that month. And now I (kinda) miss him! What’s happening with me?? Have I taken too many panadols?? Damn!! Maybe he’s right… im too nervous about it. I must’ve losen it a bit… don’t wanna get involved this time!
JFF mode on!! Heck… hope im not gonna have a dream about him again tonight!!
xx
Good morning, world!!
That’s what I shouted out loud when I woke up at 5.15 this morning. A bit contrary with my enthusiasm greeting the world, instead of getting up of my bed and do something to celebrate another day God has given to me… I curled up in my bed, closed my eyes and fell asleep some minutes later.
I fully awake at 7, that’s when im sure my parents have gone for work. My siblings are holiday-ing so they were still havin their breakfast when I woke up. I ordered someone to take my breakfast to my room. Hot green tea, scrambled egg, and a jar of nuttela. It should’ve been a great day!!!
Yes, my friend… im avoiding people again. And yes, im now not talking to other people but my self. You can reach me on my FB page. Don’t call, please! Instead of talking, maybe ill end up crying on the fone for hours. You’ll find me on skype or msn too if you’re lucky.
Don’t ask me what the problem is… I bet you all know already. Classic stuffs… folks n my disability to be assertive about my feeling. Funny isn’t it?
I’ve got plenty of options, I believe. I can randomly pick one of you to talk with and I know you’ll stand by my side nights and days during this ‘difficult time’. Again, I choose not to choose. I’ll have it on my own this time. Don’t worry, I’ll survive
My room is my little heaven now. The place where im gonna ‘communicate’ with my self, telling me that I did something wrong and find the best way to make it up. I don’t care how messy the room is now, and for the first time I feel comfy seeing my bed covered in a pink bed sheet. This is the place where I belong… the place which will genuinely accept me in my Prada outfit or my lousy n cheap PJ.
I’ll recover soon! Within this week, I hope. With NYE comin up… I know ill get some spirit boosters.
xx
ps. I miss someone… I have never appreciated his presence. Rarely talk to him. Last evening he wasn’t online. That left a hole in my heart. I realize now that even I don’t talk to him, I always enjoy his presence. Like he’s there for me. I promise my self to talk to him the next time he’s online
I googled the symptoms of brain cancer and meningitis this morning, afraid that I’m havin one of them. Severe headache without fever, vomiting everytime I try to eat something. I was shocked when I found out those two were part of the symptoms. Luckily, I’ve got a doctor-to-be cousin. I called her and talked to her about this thing.
I had no idea if she was laughing coz of the things I told her, coz she found it funny that she received a call from her cousin about meningitis and brain cancer at 2 am (she’s in Stockholm!). She’s been so kind answering my questions though. She told me to go to see my doctors if I suspect my self havin brain cancer or meningitis. Nevertheless, she suggested me to take Advil to reduce the pain. I took my last Advil some days a go when I had a very bad headache. FYI… it’s not an easy thing to get Advil here in Indonesia. Dunno if it’s not sold here or being sold with other names.
My cousin then told me to take Tylenol. It’s Panadol here by the way. 1000 mg of paracetamol equals to 2 caplets of rapid Panadol. Felt better within one or two hours. Now I think I’m not suffering from meningitis or brain cancer anymore
Anywayssss… I should see my doctors?? My doctors are in Malaysia, UK, and Switzerland. Any suggestions which one I should visit for a consultation??
xx
… I finally got back my senses. Fiuuuuh… no more mellow moments. I still think about A****W, but hey… I gotta move on!! The fact that he’s been texting me kinda often on my FB wall lately just making me more sure that he’s nothing but my (loveliest) past.
He might be the nicest ’special friend’ I’ve ever got this far (it is confirmed that he’s my “Edward Cullen”), but it doesn’t change the fact that me and him will never be together. He’s married now (do I have to remind you that he was getting married just 8 months after me and him broke up? ^_^) and I’m now in the process of ‘opening’ my heart for another love. Time to turn off the ‘no me ames’ signal now
By the way… my Cambridge application form is untouchable still. I don’t know what to do with it, and my deadline is just like 1 one week after new year!!! aaarrrghhhh…!!!!!!
xx
I might be not celebrating xmas again, and now im kinda millions of miles aways from you all… but my heart is always near to you.
Merry xmas my dearest friends!! I’m really wishing you all a real wonderful xmas! The gifts are shipped already and I believe you’ll be havin them delivered by the Santa in yellow uniform soon enough.
Enjoy the parties and festives! Just forget that you’ve got a friend with a real (starting to) boring life here!
Love you all… genuinely!!
xx
In my room, alone… thinking of these:
- That man
- That man (still)
- My mother’s car that I just crashed to the fence
- An excuse to skip my dinner tonight
- My application to Cambridge
- The Red Bulls that seem to be missing from my fridge
Even High School Musical doesn’t cheer me up this time! *sighs*
xx
im completely recovered today, and i think im such in a better mood. That’s why i decided to write about what happened two nights a go that make me think a lot about this one particular person these days.
I went seeing Twilight with my sister two days a go. At the same day some hours later, I was driving my sister home from her pre-med school classes. I was a bit drowsy coz I took some medicines to cure my flu. The only way to kept me awake was talking. I started the conversation.
Me: So… that Twilight movie. It was good, wasn’t it?
Sist: Yep. I loved it. I think im gonna see it again with my friends this weekend
Me: Cool. Say hi to Jasper from me.
both of us were giggling, talking about how we adore The Cullens
Me: I think it’s just too good to be true…
Sist: What?
Me: Bella n Edward. The ‘you’re my life now’ part is just soooo… well, you know…
Sist: Yeah. Too good to be true, but it’s true. I’ve seen it.
Me: In that movie, yeah… me too
Sist: You don’t have any idea what im talking about here, do you?
Me: ??
Sist: It was you and A****W my dear sister. Seeing Bella and Edward is like a flashback to me. Some years ago, when all the craziness was all around. But it was beautiful.
Me: *wasn’t sure what i was doing, but i know i was driving and tried not to bring back all the memories*
Sist: It was exactly like that. Now you know how I felt when I saw you both at that time. We’re even now…
Me: *still in my silent moment*
Sist: To make you feel a little better, your A****W’s mercedes in London is hotter than Edward’s Volvo. Pretty similar style in outfit, but A****W was more colourful. Same pale… wait, did he shine in the sunlight? Don’t tell me he’s a vampire too.
I never answered my sister’s question since we already arrived at home when she came up with that question. However, I’m sure A****W isn’t a vampire and no, he didn’t shine like a diamond in the sunlight
I couldn’t sleep that night. Followed by the mellow mood the day after. Even now im still thinking about what my sister said. Bella and Edward = Me and A****W.
Ill be goin out and see Twilight again today. Alone. Ill see if my sister was right about it…
xx
… but im still ill. Woke up this morning, taking my green tea before heading to the bathroom and wash my hair. At 8 am, i laid down in my mother’s sun bed at the balcony. it was real warm, not too hot. It was just perfect. Never had this kind of morning sunshine since some times ago. Mummy and Papa were off to work, my sister and brother were already at school, the maids are cleaning out the bedrooms. I was literally alone… so peaceful.
I fell asleep after 5 mins laying down there… and i was dreaming about him! Thanks to what my sister said a night earlier when I drove her home from her pre-med school classes. im gonna tell you later what it was about, when im already in a better mood.
That’s it… my wonderful silent moment was interrupted by my endless coughs. It was 9.15 am. A good reminder that I should take my meds.
Now here I am… done with breakfast and the meds I hope im gonna stop takin tomorrow. A bit dozy… thinking about someone whom i shouldn’t think about.
The sun still shines brightly outside… such a wasting if i spend it in my room. but dunno… i feel so mellow today. Watching PS. I Love You while curling in my bed is an idea just came through my mind. Think im gonna do that now.
ciao…
xx
