You are currently browsing the daily archive for December 30th, 2008.
Why do I miss him? it’s 11 pm and I used to see him online at this hour! I just don’t understand why I feel sad when knowing he’s ‘not there’.
Ooowwh my gawd… I already plan an expensive trip on February so I won’t be meeting him that month. And now I (kinda) miss him! What’s happening with me?? Have I taken too many panadols?? Damn!! Maybe he’s right… im too nervous about it. I must’ve losen it a bit… don’t wanna get involved this time!
JFF mode on!! Heck… hope im not gonna have a dream about him again tonight!!
xx
Good morning, world!!
That’s what I shouted out loud when I woke up at 5.15 this morning. A bit contrary with my enthusiasm greeting the world, instead of getting up of my bed and do something to celebrate another day God has given to me… I curled up in my bed, closed my eyes and fell asleep some minutes later.
I fully awake at 7, that’s when im sure my parents have gone for work. My siblings are holiday-ing so they were still havin their breakfast when I woke up. I ordered someone to take my breakfast to my room. Hot green tea, scrambled egg, and a jar of nuttela. It should’ve been a great day!!!
Yes, my friend… im avoiding people again. And yes, im now not talking to other people but my self. You can reach me on my FB page. Don’t call, please! Instead of talking, maybe ill end up crying on the fone for hours. You’ll find me on skype or msn too if you’re lucky.
Don’t ask me what the problem is… I bet you all know already. Classic stuffs… folks n my disability to be assertive about my feeling. Funny isn’t it?
I’ve got plenty of options, I believe. I can randomly pick one of you to talk with and I know you’ll stand by my side nights and days during this ‘difficult time’. Again, I choose not to choose. I’ll have it on my own this time. Don’t worry, I’ll survive 
My room is my little heaven now. The place where im gonna ‘communicate’ with my self, telling me that I did something wrong and find the best way to make it up. I don’t care how messy the room is now, and for the first time I feel comfy seeing my bed covered in a pink bed sheet. This is the place where I belong… the place which will genuinely accept me in my Prada outfit or my lousy n cheap PJ.
I’ll recover soon! Within this week, I hope. With NYE comin up… I know ill get some spirit boosters.
xx
ps. I miss someone… I have never appreciated his presence. Rarely talk to him. Last evening he wasn’t online. That left a hole in my heart. I realize now that even I don’t talk to him, I always enjoy his presence. Like he’s there for me. I promise my self to talk to him the next time he’s online
