You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March, 2009.
that makes me afraid that i have step out of my comfy zone when it’s time I have to settle down and prolly have some kids. These few moments, I left home at 7 am and got back home at 2 am. When I arrive home, ill clean up my self while sometimes making a very late dinner for my self. Preparing everything I gotta bring and some to do lists for the next day is what im doing before I go to bed. Sometimes I even open my macbook and see if there’s still something I can do. Or at least say hi to some friends in different time zones who are online on skype or msn.
I don’t talk to my baby brothers as often as I used to do. And I haven’t visited my brother in his dorm these past 2 weeks. I delegate someone to pick up my sister from her school and her pre med school classes. No more steak talking (which means gossiping while eating steak near her school). My only working free day is Sunday, and im occupying that Sunday for sleeping!! The only day when I can sleep without any guilts.
And talking bout guilts… thats what im feeling now. My siblings have ‘lost’ their mother, as mummy works even twice harder than moi. Now they lose a sister too coz practically since my mother seems to be more committed to her works than her family… I’m taking care of my siblings, with a help from their nannies 
I have to say that I love my new routines. What if it becomes an addictive thingy I can’t stop? What if I turn into my mother who loves her jobs lots better then her own children? I wanna be a mother someday, but I don’t wanna quit my works either…
I can’t be a mother who comes home at 2 am everyday for sure…
xx
When somebody’s telling me what to do!!!!!! This is my life, and please… stay away from it. Good or bad, it’s me who’s gonna deal with it. Mind your own business!!!!
xx
A partner to have a long trip with!!
*SUMMER 2009:
- Semarang, Central Java, Indonesia
- Karimun Jawa Island, Indonesia
- Yogyakarta, Central Java, Indonesia
- Surabaya, East Java, Indonesia
Backpacking style (im still having one small luggage which isn’t a backpack tho! For shoes and make up kits!), approximately 3 weeks time. Lots of cool places hunting (temples, unexplored islands, sharks breeding centre) as well as shopping!!!! We’re gonna use plane and boat as our main transportation mode. From Semarang to Karimun Jawa, we’re gonna used one chartered jet as im too afraid to have 6 hours journey by boat.
*WINTER 2009 – SPRING 2010
- Helsinki, Finland
- Stockholm, Sweden
- Goteborg, Sweden
- Copenhagen, Denmark
- Zürich, Switzerland
- Davos, Switzerland
- Basel, Switzerland
- Milano, Italy
Approximately 4 weeks, heavy travelling this time! No LCC, chartered jet if necessary! Starts with my friend’s wedding in Finland, then visiting some relatives in Sweden. Going across the sea to Denmark to see if there’re many cute single men left for me. Continued with a trip to Zürich and say hi to Nico :-p Go to Davos to have some snow and more cute brit skiers Basel (or maybe also Bern) to take some pictures of the river and the Münster. Ended in Milano (Bvlgari Hotel!!!) to do an after fashion week shopping! What a life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Call me ASAP if you’re interested!
xx
here what came through my mind: Listing down some 0f my personal fav convos that I heard (or had!)… completely dumb and stupid!!
- My mother and father’s reaction when we were talking about one handsome single model who always late for his flight.
Mummy: It’s a sign that he needs a wife already, to wake him up and make sure he’s not gonna be late to show up at the airport
Papa: No. He just needs to buy a new alarm clock. That’s much cheaper.
-At some immigration checking points, where I must hand out my passport and let them stamp it (in Europe most of the times…)
Custom Guy: Where are you from? (while he was looking at the page of my passport where INDONESIA is hugely printed on it!!!)
-When I arrived in CGK, my dad picked me up from the plane (literally!!) coz it was a veryyyyyy long flight and I was ill. I had my newly bought helmet with me since that was the only thing I’ve been holding in my 23 hours flight. An indonesian custom officer checked out my passport when he noticed I’ve got a helmet with me.
Custom guy: What’s that?
Me: A helmet.
Custom Guy: Why you brought a helmet on the plane?
Papa: She used to be flying an F16, she’s wearing a helmet when she’s on an airbus or a boeing too.
Custom Guy: That’s cool! Have you flown the Sukhoi too, Miss?
ill add some more later…
xx
* fought with my mother today coz of working things and now im home, but im still mad to my mum. Aaaaaarrrrgggghhh… God!!!! why she has to be soooooo perfectionist bout works?? She said she trusted me and now I know she lied!!!
*My body is a mess. Bloody bloated and it hurts all over the place!!!! Vicodin, pleaseeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
*Saw him after 23 days… was mad, happy, and awesumly ignorant bout him last night!! Cool me! I even said it loud (coz I know he wouldn’t hear it ^_^)… au revoir, till next month my babe 
xx
PS. still got one meeting to attend this Saturday. ill be totally sleeping…
boys meet girls, boys become stupid, then boys and girls stupidly live happily ever after.
if it’s really that simple… im absolutely gonna kill my self
sooo… open vacancy: a very good looking man (consider Matthew Long or Hugh Dancy if you’re thinking you’re one good looking creature already!), tall preferably, willing to be not committed in any kind of relationships during the working period, and having a good resume of life (seriously no prison or drugs history!!!) … gimme a call. I’ll pay you to be my husband, at least till I got pregnant.
xx
I don’t wanna be sad really… but i couldn’t keep my tears coming from my eyes. As im not available to be contacted through mobile fone (either sms text or fone call) so there was an email came to my inbox two nights ago. It was from the man I used to love (and I think I kinda love him still…), A****W. He’s telling me that his wife has given a birth to a baby girl on March 12th. It was a premature birth, but both of the mother and the baby are doing so well. The baby’s name is Alexandra Georgina.
I couldn’t thank God more that I didn’t get the message through the phone, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to hide all the emotions I felt when I heard about the news.
The lady who is in the hospital right now, having lots of flowers and congrats cards and holding a beautiful baby girl with her man sits next to her… that should’ve been me. I should’ve been the mother of that baby, and her man should’ve been the one I call husband. But I’m not. I’m not the mother of that beautiful baby girl, and I’m not that bloody perfect man’s wife. I’ve just been a friend when I decided that I love my father more than I love him and I left him for a prove that I can be a good daughter too!
I don’t know if im crying coz of im happy knowing him soooo happy for being a father for the first time. Or is it because of the jealousy and the evil thoughts of i should’ve been the one who’s being next to him.
I’m aware too, that last eve, he sent me a text to my fb wall. He invited me to her baby’s christening party 4 weeks from now in London. He wants me to say hi to baby Alexandra. Isn’t it gonna be awkward or something? Hello baby girl, it’s me. I’m your daddy’s ex. Although he’s having you and your mummy now, I know he’s still madly in love with me. Want a prove? Well, I’ll wait till you can read. I’ll send you the emails and sms texts your daddy sent me before he’s having you.
This baby will change the whole things, I know. The small family will move from London to New York, and here im gonna try all my best to forget him for good.
I said once to my self, when he’s having a wife maybe I still can have him for me, although swear to God I never try to steal this love of mine from his beautiful wife. He can leave his wife and everyone will be happy (exceptional for his mother and my father of course). I’m just taking a man from a woman. No big deal. But when he becomes a father, things will get harder. In this case, I’m gonna take a father from his daughter/son. That’s too evil!
I promise my self im gonna completely ‘release’ him by the time he becomes a father. Now it’s my time to keep my promise. Thought it’d be easy, but it’s not at all. It feels exactly like when I told him my last good bye and received his engagement announcement 6 months after that.
If you’re… by any chance… visits Harvey Nichols, Seibu, or Sogo in Central Jakarta area for the next couple of days and see a stupid girl who’s wearing flip flops with bandage on her feet and she’s crying while holding a CK shoes or anything like that… that could be me. Just say hi. I’ll know immediately where you’re getting the story from…
xx
PS. Alexandra Georgina is for sure taking my childhood dream, to have a bloody handsome daddy. I envy her so much for that.
no make up, fully wounded on feet (not because of war i promise, i was skating on new skating shoes!), and i was walking totally like Dr. House!! I went to see Confession of a Shopaholic alone and I felt like many eyes were on me!!!
Is it wrong to be alone at 7.30 pm at the cinema with kinda ugly clothes and no make up on while trying not to sweat everytime i try to make one little step??
xx
the more I give, much happier i am. I gotta give more and more to be happier…
xx
They’re cute and talented. The only problems they’ve got: they got paid a bit too much for their works and lots of people start to chase them for autographs. Classic
Thanks for the link, Benji
